Whether you thrill at the chance to tell taxi drivers and dinner-table companions about your research or want to hide every time someone asks, "What do you do," we offer an exciting and valuable session. Inspired by the XKCD comic that describes the Saturn V Rocket using only the thousand most common words in English, speakers will present short (5-minute) scientific talks using the same vocabulary determined via the Up-Goer Five Text Editor. When you change the kinds of words you use to explain what you do, you: a) find what is at the heart of your work, b) can now tell ANYONE what you study, because you can make things as simple as they can be, and c) show that it matters to explain what you do so others can understand, even if it's hard.